Things I learned from videogames #9

Contrary to what you might think, the ability to make conversation is not essential for a career in retail. A few stock phrases will get you through all customer service situations, leaving you free to concentrate on price gouging.

Things I learned from videogames #8

If you hear a phone ringing, even if it is just a payphone you happen to be walking past on the street, answer it. It will be something pretty important, such as a job offer. It will never be someone trying to sell you double-glazing or insurance.

Things I learned from videogames #7

If you work in a hazardous environment, such as an isolated research station, an underwater city, a deep space freighter or a secret military base, it is vital that you keep an detailed diary for posterity.

Things I learned from videogames #6

Where there's a crate, there's a way.

Things I learned from videogames #5

The career choice that gives you the most transferable skills is 'plumber'.

Things I learned from videogames #4

It is unwise to store your valuables in prominently displayed, extremely fragile earthenware vessels.

Things I learned from videogames #3

Anything worth doing once is worth doing three times.

Things I learned from videogames #2

Castles are like pockets. The thing you are looking for is never in the first one you look in.

Things I learned from videogames #1

Never loiter next to a barrel.